Adesola Akindele

Welcome to my blog

Sat, 18 Feb 2017 19:20:16 -0800

Journey with me as I dance to the tune of love, life and growth!

35 years in this life and I have learned so much and still have much to discover. I guess my glass is half full. My blog is a collection of articles and poetry from thoughts and questions I have come to ask myself as I start a new chapter in my life, in my new home- San Diego. There is no theme but experience. Everything I write is tied to an experience or experiences and if my words can help you through something difficult or help you answer questions that have bothered you, then I have made the right choice in starting this blog.

My blog will become my websites main focus in the next few months and I hope you will enjoy riding this journey of self-discovery and growth as I play this wonderful tune called life.

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Parables & Pages

Sun, 12 Nov 2017 16:50:24 -0800

After a recent experience at my daughters school, I sat to recollect how my childhood was. I come from an African household and the importance of education is engraved in our minds so early, all we do is fantasize about our future careers. This I realised helped me focus and stay on track in school. My siblings and I also had tutors come to our home 4 days a week to push us ahead of the class so getting A's became natural. It was even a competition between us while growing up..

Now as a mum, I have to ask myself, is my daughter getting that same attention? I am in a different environment and the desire to chase a solid education is somewhat lacking. Do I follow the crowd or do I make sure my daughter gets the same opportunities afforded to me by my mother and grandmother? My answer was easy in theory, but practice was a whole different story.

I began by creating what we now call book day where we would visit the library once a week after school. This begun as my daughter started 1st grade earlier this year. She loved it so much that if we missed going on our dedicated day, she made it her mission to nag at me until we went. Now it is fixed permanently in my calendar. And why not? Our local library gave us a 2 books free pass every 2 weeks. My daughter is enrolled in the Spanish dual Immersion program and this card made it so easy to lease a variety of spanish books without having to buy any.

Then my daughter begun to ask for books of her own. I decided it was time to extend our book day to window shopping at the local book store. Well the photos accompanying this blog post tell it all. Her first choice of books were those of the television shows she watched...I said 'Oh no, we need variety sweetheart'. She proceeded to ask 'What kind of books did you like mum when you were my age?'. This made me so happy, I now looked at the...Read More

Time|Part 2

Tue, 23 May 2017 17:31:22 -0700

How many times have you said, 'I will do it tomorrow' today? How many times did you say this yesterday? That is a pattern most of us fall prey to. I struggle with procrastination and have consistently surrounded myself with tools to help minimize it. I was given solace years ago to understand why and was told that it is part of the depression I suffered. When I decided to take charge of my life and step out of the dark hole, I realized something major, everything I have put off, I would sit down, comb through and identify what was important. Basically, I used my wardrobe clearance system - whatever I hadn't worn in 6 months would be given away and if it didn't fit, big or small, it would suffer the same fate.

Thus began my journey to control being overwhelmed by an endless list of to-do's and will do's as well as trying my best in any situation. You realize that you can't do it all, and you shouldn't think that you can. So what I had put off for years, I let go of and what I hadn't done in months, I asked myself, why hadn't I completed said task? If the reason did not present itself, I labeled it a non-starter. This was difficult but following this exercise, I made the best decision of my life by deciding to account for my activities from when I woke up until I knocked-out, every day for one week. I categorized them all, mummy tasks, work tasks, family obligations, friends. I found out something fascinating, I did not have time coined out for ME.

I must state that during this week I did not add any new obligations and I made myself unavailable to anything that was not a priority. I had literally run out of time in the present and future by piling up everything I procrastinated upon alongside my daily routine activities. I was overwhelmed. I decided to change how I spent my time. Here is how I learned how to focus on the NOW, leave the past and hope for the best...Read More

Time | Part 1

Fri, 05 May 2017 22:57:50 -0700

It is said that the best moments are lost in time. I disagree because time stores the moments we choose to remember, the moments we choose to remember determine how we live today, the moments we choose to hold on to determine how far we will go tomorrow.

If you consider my analogy, what moments have you chosen and will you choose to cherish? What will you ask time to do for you today? I asked a number of people while putting this article together what they thought of time. I must say the revelations were interesting. I cannot share them all but will share a couple that moved me and then my point of view.

Time to her was precious, she measured time by the moments she had to herself. The moments she spent with her new baby and the time she lost not achieving her dreams. She felt time was her friend until she lost a loved one. She loved time when she gained her son, because now forever she has someone to love.

He never had time. He put a price on time. You just wasted two minutes of my life he said. I am worth xyz per minute he repeated. He did not realize how his demeanor devalued time. He did not realize it was a gift. He begged for time when he got sick. He begged for time when he did not have the strength to eat. He begged to have one more day, he begged for love to stay always.

I fell in love with time the moment I stood still. In my stillness time was endless. In my stillness, I chose the moments that would serve my true purpose. I chose the memories that gave my life true meaning. I cherish time because of its power of healing, I treasure time and in no way shall I speak of it demeaningly or spend it unwisely.

written by Adesola Akindele

April 2017

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Crossroads & Closures

Fri, 03 Mar 2017 18:12:28 -0800

Closure; it always sounds great in theory but the reality is something quite different. Safety in the old, in dark influences, can delude you and make you feel that you could make something that at first felt sweet, then turned sour, sweet once again. I struggle with closure. I can't believe that the initial feeling that was apparently so good can be so wrong for me and the tenacious part of me battles within to make sense of it all. But the question is: was the choice not wrong from day one? Think about that job, that opportunity, that meal, that activity, that friend, that person, that family member, that dream.

I try not to reminisce on anything in my past as a mistake but see it as a crossroad, an opportunity to take a path that I was guaranteed to grow or see how far I have grown. How do you make a choice? Which road looks bright and which looks bleak? Which looks hard and which looks easy? Which path will help you blossom? Can’t I simply go back and make it work? It felt so safe before. For someone who has suffered from depression, it is easy to slip backward because the dark can give a false sense of comfort. Fortunately, when you love yourself, your spirit will not sit well in a bad situation.

For a former over-ambitious lady like me, failure was never an option but I can tell you, I have come to accept and appreciate that failure is a possibility. I have learned that every failure is a form of grace. What if you achieved everything you embarked on or what seemed like a success; how would it affect you as a human being? Would you truly appreciate it? Would it feed your soul or would it eat you alive? For everything I have failed at or walked away from, I see - not immediately but eventually - that I was preserving myself.

After so many years of believing that silence is a way to keep peace and tolerate any situation that...Read More

The Journey of a Rock

Thu, 02 Feb 2017 21:43:36 -0800

A few days ago, I found a significantly large-sized pebble. I began to wonder about its journey and remembered briefly a geography fact I learned years ago about how beaches are formed. My purpose is not to give a geology lesson, but to show how earth's science activated a few musings that stirred within me while holding that magnificent rock.

How was it that I came to find you? Of all the standard-sized pebbles, I found the largest rock that took (covered) the entire palm of my hand. I had gone to the beach to take photographs with a dear friend and there it was. Massively gorgeous, no flaws and, as my friend would attest to it, I logged it around during our entire time at La Jolla Shores.

Little did I know that the rock would help me clarify a few things that I had experienced the weekend before. The opening caption above describes the journey of a rock into fine beach sand, constantly washing away, or is it really? As I watched the sea rush in after every wave, it came to me: such is life!

This pebble started as a chip from a cliff and traveled harshly, constantly being beaten by nature until it became a polished piece. I thought about my interactions with others to be like this and realized that the relationships I hold dear always had a rocky start. They were not...Read More

#MyBiabookJourney

Mon, 16 Jan 2017 22:16:22 -0800

It has been a minute since my last post. I am happy to tell you that I have been busy perfecting my best work yet and I cannot wait to share it with you all. First we must explore the topic at hand and how #myBiabookjourney showed me that failure was my path to eventual success.

I smile whenever I watch this video, I was so afraid then. What was I doing? I wish I could tell her that- no matter what was ahead, you will survive it and that survival will be the key to what you were trying to achieve. I am not one to write long tales, but I will use an extract from my upcoming publication to do the first tale in this series justice.

15 years ago, I discovered something in me. I had a knack for business and creating news ideas. This was great for a 20-year-old however, I was not in the right environment to develop the skills within. Rebellious in nature, I tried to make my voice heard. I gravitated towards fashion then and for someone studying Economics and Business at one of England’s top Universities, it was almost impossible to get an ear to listen or better still guide me.

My spirit grew even more resilient. Little did I know I would fight for personal growth over the next 15 years in my journey to success. At 21, I graduated from University College London with an Economics and Business Studies Degree. I had lost interest in my degree in the most important year and there was nothing to console me because I was focused on one thing, starting my own fashion line. I handed my degree to my mother and with her help began a floor assistant job in a fashion house. Within 3 months, I had learned how to cut and sew.

I grew the confidence of a leprechaun and begun making outfits for friends. I was excited as I made a lot of money and grew a healthy client base in a short time. What I did not know was how my first...Read More

Let Easter Awaken You

Mon, 28 Mar 2016 20:27:26 -0700

As I nibbled on my seventh Lumpia,
I contemplated on my current state of euphoria,
How my experiences these past few days mattered,
My heart, now healed, could have been shattered.
I proceeded to make a note of #MyEasterStory,
But to the Most High I give the glory,
That after my whole being was shaken,
My soul is newly opened and awakened!
As I stared at my little one,
A fun Easter egg hunt, she had just done,
For a minute my home was United,
Oh how my full basket got me delighted.
No more will I lock myself to be safe from pain,
My self-honestly taught me how to live again,
Now the path before me is so clear,
Surrendering to love unlocked me my dear.
Because even when you feel it's too late,
There is but One whose power is so great,
That sheds all fear with a groovy kind of love,
That harmoniously lights up all your darkest caves, with helpers sent straight from above!
Now beyond that place I used to feel fear,
I now feel bliss I hope to share;
As impossible as this may sound,
It is from my aura it can be found...
How this has come to be, I am in absolute awe,
My spiritual awakening this Easter begun by answering that call.
It commences the minute you choose to be honest with yourself,
Surrender, to feel and then you will heal thyself.
No wall put up, can He not break,
I must say it is amazing to finally be awake!
written by Adesola Akindele
April 2016
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Doute

Thu, 12 Nov 2015 20:00:34 -0800

3 days...it took to crash a wall of confidence. 3 non-consecutive days but consecutive events to cripple years of effort and turn a castle into dust. All it took was a piercing bullet of doubt, a poor support system and overthinking to implode it. Let's evaluate the state of doubt in an entrepreneur's story.

DAY 1: It has to be done this way, can't you see? In moving a few steps forward, we can create a gap for others to follow. That won't work, have you thought of their level of understanding or who you will upset bringing this revolutionary idea to light? The fact that you think so, tells me I am in the wrong room. How will you see this brought to light? Is the benefit not clear to the masses? The benefit is clear, I just feel there are safer things we could do than something so bodacious. Ok I will consider your concerns but if we keep under the radar all the time, we won't light the way for others as we promised...

DAY 2: I am here to inform you of and discuss an opportunity to highlight our city by inviting key players in the business world to inspire our youths to be greater than the community allows. Who are you to say the community limits the youths? How will you bring our city which is already world known for X thing. Exactly my point! X thing and X thing alone is not enough to satisfy the growing population. It's time to inspire the youths and bring a new wave of thinking and careers into play in this great city. Let our neighbors look to us for xyz. This is a waste of time, there is no opportunity here...

DAY 3: I am sorry to announce we will be canceling xyz project. I apologize for carrying you all along and not fulfilling what I promised. Are you giving up? After everything we put into this? I am afraid I must, for I cannot risk it all...
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